| The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here. Jerry Seinfeld Pretty |
| More from Jerry Seinfeld |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Jerry Seinfeld |
|
|
| Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. Jerry Seinfeld |
| "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld |
| There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld |
| It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going "Quit it." Jerry Seinfeld |
| There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld |
|
|
| A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld |
| More in the Pretty category |
| Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. Bill Watterson Pretty |
| Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. Bruce Lee Pretty |
| In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,When birds do sing, hey ding a ding;Sweet lovers love the spring. William Shakespeare Pretty |
| I like to just have fun and be silly and say pretty much whatever comes into my mind, do pretty much whatever I want. Tom Ford Pretty |
| When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it's pretty certain that she has his George Dennison Prentice Pretty |
| Look at me, with my pretty bracelet and tiara... I'm a f****n' princess! Gerard Way Pretty |
| People are taken aback by a confident, pretty girl who knows what she wants in life and isn't going to let anyone get in her way. And you know what it's all about? Jealousy. Summer Altice Pretty |
| Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you Jules Renard Pretty |
| Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. Albert Einstein Pretty |
| It's pretty far, but it doesn't seem like it. Yogi Berra Pretty |
