| The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here. Jerry Seinfeld War |
| More from Jerry Seinfeld |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Jerry Seinfeld |
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| "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld |
| Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld |
| A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld |
| My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason Jerry Seinfeld |
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| Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur." Jerry Seinfeld |
| More in the War category |
| I will ignore all ideas for new works on engines of war, the invention of which has reached its limits and for whose improvements I see no further hope. Erich Fromm War |
| No one ever goes into battle thinking God is on the other side. Terry Goodkind War |
| What use are cartridges in battle? I always carry chocolate instead. George Bernard Shaw War |
| War is a series of catastrophes which result in victory. Albert Pike War |
| Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country. Bertrand Russell War |
| Soldiers usually win the battles and generals get the credit for them. Napoleon Bonaparte War |
| A riot is a spontaneous outburst. A war is subject to advance planning. Richard Milhouse Nixon War |
| When people speak to you about a preventive war, you tell them to go and fight it. After my experience, I have come to hate war. War settles nothing. Dwight David Eisenhower War |
| There will one day spring from the brain of science a machine or force so fearful in its potentialities, so absolutely terrifying, that even man, the fighter, who will dare torture and death in order to inflict torture and death, will be appalled, and so abandon war forever. Thomas A Edison War |
| I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. John Adams War |
