| I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. Jerry Seinfeld Comedy |
| More from Jerry Seinfeld |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Jerry Seinfeld |
|
|
| "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld |
| Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld |
| A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld |
| My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason Jerry Seinfeld |
|
|
| Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur." Jerry Seinfeld |
| More in the Comedy category |
| The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it ... try to fake three laughs in an hour—ha ha ha ha ha—they’ll take you away, man. You can’t. Lenny Bruce Comedy |
| Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway. Eric Idle Comedy |
| At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted. Eric Idle Comedy |
| There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. Groucho Marx Comedy |
| Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others. Saint Augustine Comedy |
| Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little. Edmund Burke Comedy |
| Great men are the guideposts and landmarks in the state. Edmund Burke Comedy |
| A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. Henry Ford Comedy |
| The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed. Henry Ford Comedy |
| I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done. Henry Ford Comedy |
