| A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld Children |
| More from Jerry Seinfeld |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Jerry Seinfeld |
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| "A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking." Jerry Seinfeld |
| Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked." Jerry Seinfeld |
| A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld |
| There is no such thing as fun for the whole family. Jerry Seinfeld |
| My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason Jerry Seinfeld |
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| Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. Jerry Seinfeld |
| Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur." Jerry Seinfeld |
| More in the Children category |
| A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx Children |
| Actually, the only memory I have of being a Cub Scout was trying to get my hat back. That was all I did. Run back and forth at my bus stop going Jerry Seinfeld Children |
| Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt. Herbert Hoover Children |
| Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. Mark Twain Children |
| Flowers are words which even a baby can understand. Arthur C Coxe Children |
| I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away. Nancy Mitford Children |
| If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. Al Bernstein Children |
| Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Red Buttons Children |
| Lawyers, I suppose, were children once. Charles Lamb Children |
| The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. Clarence Darrow Children |
