| If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that. Jack Handey Education |
| More from Jack Handey |
| Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk. Jack Handey |
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| Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the room, talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books. Jack Handey |
| I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page Jack Handey |
| The tiger can't change his spots. No, wait, he did! Good for him! Jack Handey |
| If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that. Jack Handey |
| It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something. Jack Handey |
| Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. Jack Handey |
| Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. Jack Handey |
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| If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast. Jack Handey |
| Why is it that we will laugh at a man in a clown outfit, but we won't laugh at a man just walking down the street carrying a clown outfit in one of those plastic dry-cleaner bags? Jack Handey |
| More in the Education category |
| Personally I am always ready to learn, although I do
not always like being taught. Winston Churchill Education |
| What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul. Joseph Addison Education |
| I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable. Joseph Addison Education |
| I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. Lily Tomlin Education |
| Wit is educated insolence. Aristotle Education |
| The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. Aristotle Education |
| Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. Edmund Burke Education |
| Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns Education |
| How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it. Alexandre Dumas Education |
| Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything one learned in school. Albert Einstein Education |
