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| The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You cant fake it ... try to fake three laughs in an hourha ha ha ha hatheyll take you away, man. You cant. Lenny Bruce Quotes |
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| Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense, and that it doesn't make much difference anyway. Eric Idle Quotes |
| At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be granted. Eric Idle Quotes |
| A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. Ludwig Wittgenstein Quotes |
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| There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. Groucho Marx Quotes |
| Find out how much God has given you and from it take what you need; the remainder is needed by others. Saint Augustine Quotes |
| There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he is willing to climb himself. Andrew Carnegie Quotes |
| Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little. Edmund Burke Quotes |
| Great men are the guideposts and landmarks in the state. Edmund Burke Quotes |
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| A business that makes nothing but money is a poor business. Henry Ford Quotes |
| The man who will use his skill and constructive imagination to see how much he can give for a dollar, instead of how little he can give for a dollar, is bound to succeed. Henry Ford Quotes |
| I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done. Henry Ford Quotes |
| The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff. Ambrose Bierce Quotes |
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| He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help. Abraham Lincoln Quotes |
| No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. Abraham Lincoln Quotes |
| Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to conserve it. Mark Twain Quotes |
| Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain't so. Mark Twain Quotes |
| A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Mark Twain Quotes |
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| I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't. Mark Twain Quotes |
| Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. Mark Twain Quotes |
| When in doubt, tell the truth. Mark Twain Quotes |
| No mask like open truth to cover lies,
As to go naked is the best disguise. William Congreve Quotes |
| If we were all given by magic the power to read each other's thoughts, I suppose the first effect would be to dissolve all friendships. Bertrand Russell Quotes |
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| I do not admire a virtue like valour when it is pushed to excess, if I do not see at the same time the excess of the opposite virtue, as one does in Epaminondas, who displayed extreme valour and extreme benevolence. For otherwise it is not an ascent, but a fall. We do not display our greatness by placing ourselves at one extremity, but rather by being at both at the same time, and filling up the whole of the space between them. Blaise Pascal Quotes |
| The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Your schooling may be over, but remember that your education still continues. Author Unknown Quotes |
| We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails. Author Unknown Quotes |
| There are so many men who can figure costs, and so few who can measure values. Author Unknown Quotes |
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| Put your future in good hands - your own. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Know your limits... but never stop trying to exceed them. Author Unknown Quotes |
| We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. Author Unknown Quotes |
| If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. Author Unknown Quotes |
| When the horse is dead, get off. Author Unknown Quotes |
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| This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anyone could have. Author Unknown Quotes |
| God has not called us to see through each other, but to see each other through. Author Unknown Quotes |
| If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Author Unknown Quotes |
| When you dig another out of their troubles, you find a place to bury your own. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Go the extra mile. It's never crowded. Author Unknown Quotes |
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| When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world. Author Unknown Quotes |
| A good example has twice the value of good advice. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Instead of counting your days, make your days count. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Street hockey is great for kids. It's energetic, competitive, and skilful. And best of all it keeps them off the street. Author Unknown Quotes |
| A lie may take care of the present, but it has no future. Author Unknown Quotes |
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| Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Always tell the truth. If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie. Author Unknown Quotes |
| I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love Letter to the world. Mother Teresa Quotes |
| If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. Mother Teresa Quotes |
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| There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. Mother Teresa Quotes |
| Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Mother Teresa Quotes |
| There be three things which make a nation great and prosperous: a fertile soil, busy workshops, easy conveyance for men and goods from place to place. Francis Bacon Quotes |
| Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread. Josh Billings Quotes |
| Nothing interferes with my concentration. You could put on an orgy in my office and I wouldn't look up. Well, maybe once. Isaac Asimov Quotes |
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| Be an opener of doors for such as come after thee, and do not try to make the universe a blind alley. Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes |
| Things of the spirit differ from things material in that the more you give the more you have. Christopher Morley Quotes |
| If we are to be a really great people, we must strive in good faith to play a great part in the world. We cannot avoid meeting great issues. All that we can determine for ourselves is whether we shall meet them well or ill. Theodore Roosevelt Quotes |
| If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it; every arrow that flies feels the attraction of earth. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Quotes |
| You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself. Gene Mauch Quotes |
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| Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. Emily Dickinson Quotes |
| I am convinced that nothing will happen to me, for I know the greatness of the task for which Providence has chosen me. Adolf Hitler Quotes |
| My piece of bread only belongs to me when I know that everyone else has a share, and that no one starves while I eat. Leo Tolstoy Quotes |
| Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. Doug Larson Quotes |
| Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. Doug Larson Quotes |
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| Love the earth and sun and animals,
Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
Stand up for the stupid and crazy,
Devote your income and labor to others...
And your very flesh shall be a great poem. Walt Whitman Quotes |
| What I just said is the fundamental, end-all, final, not-subject-to-opinion absolute truth, depending on where you're standing. Steve Martin Quotes |
| If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive. Samuel Goldwyn Quotes |
| Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read. Groucho Marx Quotes |
| It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams Quotes |
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| Please, if you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, please put your video camera down and help me. Bobcat Goldthwait Quotes |
| Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork. I'm sorry, what was that last one? Don't eat pork? Is that the word of God, or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody? Jon Stewart Quotes |
| If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, we have at least to consider the possibility that we have a small aquatic bird of the family anatidae on our hands. Douglas Adams Quotes |
| Stand-up comedy is transient. History shows that you can stand up for so long; after that, you're asked to sit down. Steve Martin Quotes |
| Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz Quotes |
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| I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. Woody Allen Quotes |
| My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. Henny Youngman Quotes |
| I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman Quotes |
| I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. Douglas Adams Quotes |
| Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws. Douglas Adams Quotes |
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| Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns Quotes |
| Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Groucho Marx Quotes |
| I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield Quotes |
| I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another. Rodney Dangerfield Quotes |
| I'm at an age where I think more about food than sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table. Rodney Dangerfield Quotes |
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| My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-five now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
| Nothing you can't spell will ever work. Will Rogers Quotes |
| I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit. Mel Brooks Quotes |
| Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. Woody Allen Quotes |
| When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back. Woody Allen Quotes |
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| My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. Orson Welles Quotes |
| The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm The Beatles. Bill Maher Quotes |
| Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns -- he should be drawn and quoted. Fred Allen Quotes |
| A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe. Pierre Berton Quotes |
| I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen Quotes |
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| I've occasionally heard that I was kicked out of Harvard for being a Communist, for dealing drugs, for corrupting minors, or for diverse other infractions of local decorum. Unfortunately, none of these rumors are true. The one I've heard more often is that I am dead. That one I encouraged, hoping it would cut down on the junk mail. It didn't. Tom Lehrer Quotes |
| Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. Fran Lebowitz Quotes |
| It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen Quotes |
| The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right. Mark Twain Quotes |
| Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance. Author Unknown Quotes |
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| I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know. Rodney Dangerfield Quotes |
| How can you be expected to govern a country that has 246 kinds of cheese? Charles de Gaulle Quotes |
| I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true. Dorothy Parker Quotes |
| My goal is to someday be the person my dog thinks I am. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal's out of town. Steve Martin Quotes |
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| All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work. Steve Martin Quotes |
| First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Steve Martin Quotes |
| Boy, those French, they have a different word for everything! Steve Martin Quotes |
| I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. Steve Martin Quotes |
| If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? Will Rogers Quotes |
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| Of course the meek will inherit the earth, what, did you think they'd take it by force? Author Unknown Quotes |
| I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating. Mike Tyson Quotes |
| People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them that I have the heart of a small boy...and I keep it in a jar on my desk. Stephen King Quotes |
| Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin Quotes |
| In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. Fran Lebowitz Quotes |
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| I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not. Fran Lebowitz Quotes |
| I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. Fran Lebowitz Quotes |
| When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading. Author Unknown Quotes |
| Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain Quotes |
| Do not compute the totality of your poultry population until all the manifestations of incubation have been entirely completed. William Jennings Bryan Quotes |
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| I wish TV had a knob so you could turn up the intelligence. The one marked Brightness doesn't work. Leo Gallagher Quotes |
| I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens. Dwight Eisenhower Quotes |
| To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. Mark Twain Quotes |
| All the people throughout my life who were naysayers pissed me off. But they've all given me a fervor; an angry ambition that cannot be stopped - and I look forward to finding a therapist and working on that. Tobey Maguire Quotes |
| I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. Woody Allen Quotes |
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| If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln Quotes |
| Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. Mel Brooks Quotes |
| My son first wanted to go to Stanford, which I thought was O.K. The weather is pretty good, and it's a fairly short drive to the beach. But it wouldn't be as good as let's say, Pepperdine, which is in Malibu. And he said, 'Dad, what about the education?' I said, 'Clearly, I failed as a parent.' Larry Ellison Quotes |
| I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Douglas Adams Quotes |
| Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework Bill Cosby Quotes |
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| To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. Woody Allen Quotes |
| There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. Erma Bombeck Quotes |
| The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. Horace Walpole Quotes |
| See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. Robin Williams Quotes |
| Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams Quotes |
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| I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?' Jerry Seinfeld Quotes |
| The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. And the body is born young and grows old. That is life's tragedy. Oscar Wilde Quotes |
| The soul is born old but grows young. That is the comedy of life. Oscar Wilde Quotes |
| Nazis are for the New Age concern Bill Hicks Quotes |
| I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band. Bill Maher Quotes |
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| Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith. Christopher Fry Quotes |
| Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult. Edmond Gween Quotes |
| Applaud friends, the comedy is over. (Said as he was dying) Ludwig van Beethoven Quotes |
| Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.' Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store, oftentimes I will drop it so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
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| I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has a pack in his back, my answer is, if someone was feeding him answers, couldn't they be able to feed him better ones than he came up with? Bill Maher Quotes |
| If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball George Carlin Quotes |
| You believe the world's 12 thousand years old? "That's right." Okay I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready? "Uh huh." Dinosaurs. You know the world's 12 thousand years old and dinosaurs existed, they existed in that time, you'd think it would have been mentioned in the fucking Bible at some point. "And lo Jesus and the disciples walked to Nazareth. But the trail was blocked by a giant brontosaurus...with a splinter in his paw. And O the disciples did run a shriekin': 'What a big fucking lizard, Lord!' But Jesus was unafraid and he took the splinter from the brontosaurus's paw and the big lizard became his friend. Bill Hicks Quotes |
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| Comedy is tragedy plus time. Carol Burnett Quotes |
| Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. Charlie Chaplin Quotes |
| God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. Garrison Keillor Quotes |
| Once you can laugh at your own weaknesses, you can move forward. Comedy breaks down walls. It opens up people. If you're good, you can fill up those openings with something positive. Maybe you can combat some of the ugliness in the world. Goldie Hawn Quotes |
| Comedy, we may say, is society protecting itself - with a smile. J. B. Priestley Quotes |
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| "I love the movie previews... you know... Why is it whenever you're watching a movie preview you always feel like you have to comment on it to the person you're with? 'Yeah... I'm not gonna see that movie. I'm gonna wait for that on VIDEO.' I mean when you think about it, it's just a commercial for the movie. You know, you never sit at home watching tv-- "Yeah... I'm not buying that cereal. I don't like cereals with raisins in 'em. ...What's your take on that commercial? Where you goin'?" Jim Gaffigan Quotes |
| Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his shit into a truck. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do. Bill Cosby Quotes |
| I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!' Bill Hicks Quotes |
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| NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave The Children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?' Bill Maher Quotes |
| Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind Gilbert Seldes Quotes |
| Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. Horace Walpole Quotes |
| Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are. Robin Williams Quotes |
| There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it! Jon Stewart Quotes |
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| You can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool seniors. Owen Wilson Quotes |
| My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.' Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. Moliere Quotes |
| Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down. George Carlin Quotes |
| You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." How do you know that? "Uh, well...we looked at the receipts." Bill Hicks Quotes |
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| All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl. Charlie Chaplin Quotes |
| In tragedy every moment is eternity; in comedy, eternity is a moment. Christopher Fry Quotes |
| Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale. Will Durst Quotes |
| Guns have metamorphosed into cameras in this earnest comedy, the ecology safari, because nature has ceased to be what it always had been , what people needed protection from. Now nature tamed, endangered, mortal , needs to be protected from people. Susan Sontag Quotes |
| Life is funny. Life isn't categorized into comedy, drama, action, is it?So I don't know why they try to categorize everything. It drives me crazy-why it would have to be just a romantic comedy or...I want to have a little integrity, a little story, you know. Jennifer Aniston Quotes |
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| My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. Jerry Seinfeld Quotes |
| I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly... Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender.... all you do is say what the shit does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps shit fresh. Well, that's a fresher....I'm going on break. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| The funniest thing about comedy is that you never know why people laugh. I know what makes them laugh but trying to get your hands on the why of it is like trying to pick an eel out of a tub of water. W. C. Fields Quotes |
| Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail. Benito Mussolini Quotes |
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| Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue. Woody Allen Quotes |
| Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke Steve Martin Quotes |
| It's hard enough to write a good drama, it's much harder to write a good comedy, and it's hardest of all to write a drama with comedy. Which is what life is. Jack Lemon Quotes |
| I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. Jerry Seinfeld Quotes |
| Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. Peter Ustinov Quotes |
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| Comedy keeps the heart sweet. Mark Twain Quotes |
| The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour -- ha ha ha ha ha -- they'll take you away, man. You can't. Lenny Bruce Quotes |
| I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| So I'm over there in England, you know, trying to get news about the riots... and all these Brit people are trying to sympathize with me... 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. Bill, if it's any consolation crime is horrible here, too.' ...Shutup. This is Hobbitown and I am Bilbo Hicks, Okay? This is a land of fairies and elves. You do not have crime like we have crime, but I appreciate you trying to be, you know, Diplomatic. You gotta see English crime. It's hilarious, you don't know if you're reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article front page of the paper one day, in England, 'Yesterday, some Hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shafsbry.' ...Wooooo. 'The hooligans are loose! The hooligans are loose! ...What if they become roughians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shafsbry tonight. (to the tune of "Behind Blue Eyes" by The Who) No one knows what it's like... to be a dustbin... in Shafsbry... with hooligans...' What the HELL are you talkin' about? Hooligans? Roughians? Speak English! It's Crypt, Blood. I mean, I'm sure it's a serious thing, Hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn't it? I picture a bunch of pale guys with pennyloafers and no socks. (to a tune) 'We're the hooligans!' (Sound of knocking dustbin over) 'Come here, you fuckers, come here.' 'Nope! Got-to catch us! If you corner me I might become a scalliwag!' ...It doesn't sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. I'd love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA... that would be a short gang battle. (To a tune, again) 'We're the hooligans!' (sound of dustbin knocking over)-- (boom boom boom *gunshots*). '...huh? Hoola-somethin', I didn't catch it all. Mothafucka danced up to me and patted me on the head. Pale mothafucka, look at that thing.' It wouldn't be a long gang battle. I'm bettin' on the Bloods. Bill Hicks Quotes |
| "I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's a blasting zone, what am I supposed to do, 'Hey-- ah, you might wanna buckle up, blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're-- (Pow!)-- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)-- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one--we lost Billy?" Brian Regan Quotes |
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| I’ve been offered a lot but I want to stay away from romance, comedies and fluffy work. I met Stephen Spielberg at a breast cancer benefit and he explained that he’d seen me on Saturday Night Live and thought I was ready for a movie. He said, ‘You go to the ledge and are unafraid to jump off.’ That was the biggest compliment to me because he was saying I was free. Christina Aguilera Quotes |
| The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain. Wendy Wasserstein Quotes |
| While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. Tim Allen Quotes |
| Comedy is acting out optimism. Robin Williams Quotes |
| "You ever walk behind someone walking so slow slow you have to hold yourself back from stabbing them? '...You better move it along, huh. My walker has wheels for a reason." You ever walk next to that stranger who wants to walk the same speed as you? '...Get the fuck away from me... what are we--on a date here? I don't even know you.' Sometimes I find myself being a weirdo... you ever been walking next to some stranger and for no reason at all you decide that if you beat them to the corner, you'll be a millionaire? They're like, 'whatever'. HAHA! I get to press the walk button for you! ... You think those walk buttons do anything? I think some guy at the government was like, 'What can we give the morons to press? How bout a button!?' You always press 'em, you're like, '...maybe I didn't press it hard enough...' Then someone will come up and be like, 'Did you press it?' --'Yeah, I pressed it.' They're like, 'Why don't you press it again?'--'You're like, 'Yeah I'll press it again.' Then at that point it changes and you're like, 'I did that. I changed the traffic in the city... I have a lot of power.' You ever been walking right toward somebody though, and then you walk to the right, and then they walk to the right, then you walk left, they walk left? You know how there's like that awkward moment? ...Just lean forward and kiss 'em. '....looked like you wanted it from my angle.' Then when they're walking away just hit 'em on the ass. (Pshhh) 'You'll be back! You'll be back for some of that loving.'' Jim Gaffigan Quotes |
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| "I love the inpatience of New York... You ever had somebody not-ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time. 'Let's go buddy! Holland tunnel!' '...Uh..I-I was just going to the store... I didn't realize it was my shift. Well, let's see... the Holland Tunnel is in my ass... alright?" Jim Gaffigan Quotes |
| Dinosaur fossils? God put those there to test our faith." Thank God I'm strapped in right now here man. I think God put you here to test my faith, Dude. You believe that? "Uh huh." Does that trouble anyone here? The idea that God.. might be...fuckin' with our heads? I have trouble sleeping with that knowledge. Some prankster God running around: "Hu hu ho. We will see who believes in me now, ha HA. Bill Hicks Quotes |
| It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Bill Hicks Quotes |
| “This morning, shortly after 11 o’clock, comedy struck this little house in Dibbley road. Sudden, violent comedy.” Monty Python Quotes |
| "You see weird things driving... I've never understood log trucks, sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant trucks loaded up with logs, and they pass eachother on the highway... I don't understand it. I mean, if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over there, you'd think a phone call would save 'em a whole lot of trouble." Brian Regan Quotes |
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| Harpo Marx looks like a musical comedy. Walter Kerr Quotes |
| One always writes comedy at the moment of deepest hysteria. V. S. Naipaul Quotes |
| There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? Dick Cavett Quotes |
| I didn't see it coming, ... But Comedy Central wanted to do it and will air all 13 shows that we did. That's why I'm going out on this tour. If the show wasn't picked up, I would probably be flying off to a sporting event or something in October. I wanted to take a couple of years off, but that will have to wait because of the show and the tour. Drew Carey Quotes |
| [And his leading lady echoes that observation.] American men don't want to do comedy that makes them look silly or less masculine, ... But he has no fear. He throws himself into things. In fact, he threw himself out of a second-story window one day. He had the stunt me put down mats so everyone would laugh hysterically. Reese Witherspoon Quotes |
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| If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you're going to have a musical comedy administration. Robert Moses Quotes |
| I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest." Janeane Garofalo Quotes |
| The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun. Jerry Seinfeld Quotes |
| My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Adam Sandler Quotes |
| To be honest, I'm a little tired of playing bad guys. I long to do a comedy. But it was fun knocking Indiana Jones around. Gary Oldman Quotes |
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| The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentist’s office. Sasha Azevedo Quotes |
| Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. Sid Caesar Quotes |
| Musical comedies aren't written, they are rewritten. Stephen Sondheim Quotes |
| Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt The Edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear. James Thurber Quotes |
| I've come to realize that life is not a musical comedy, it's a Greek tragedy. Billy Joel Quotes |
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| "Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we?Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot,But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not.I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking,By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking.Election Day came and the voting was close,At one point the Grinch even started to boast,'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed,Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane.But was he the winner, hey not so fast--Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!"The race was too tight to say who was elected,The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected.All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess,But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess,Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked,They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich.The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets,To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat.The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher,'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.'Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand,The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.'His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs,Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits.But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through,He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92.'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?'The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection.They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day,Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way.So here's a lesson for now and for later,Don’t blame me-- I voted for Nader!" Bill Maher Quotes |
| [Mock singing] “And shall my sword sleep in my hand…” [Speaking] “NOT a good idea, you’re gonna roll over and cut your bits off.” Eddie Izzard Quotes |
| He was a genius. To think all these years on his comedy is still making us laugh Eddie Izzard Quotes |
| I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it's essentially about listening. The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it's a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight. Will Ferrell Quotes |
| Our comedies are not to be laughed at. Samuel Goldwyn Quotes |
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| Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor. Sholom Aleichem Quotes |
| Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh. It is there in the phrase 'making people laugh.' You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused. Gilda Radner Quotes |
| The world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel. Horace Walpole Quotes |
| I used to see Jim [Carrey] in comedy clubs and tell him 'This isn't going to get you anywhere. What you're good at is that nice Jimmy Stewart stuff.' Thank God he never listened. Jane Leeves Quotes |
| I always loved comedy, but I never knew it was something you could learn to do. I always thought that some people are born comedians ... just like some people are born dentists. Paul Reiser Quotes |
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| Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act. Marty Feldman Quotes |
| Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually seem to have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them. Henry Louis Mencken Quotes |
| [Her future might include another comedy. She and Gerber have a military fish-out-of-water script in the works titled] Major Movie Star, ... kind of take on 'Private Benjamin.' Very much like Goldie Hawn. She is one of my idols. Jessica Simpson Quotes |
| Improvisation is almost like the retarded cousin in the comedy world. We've been trying forever to get improvisation on TV. It's just like stand-up. It's best when it's just left alone. It doesn't translate always on TV. It's best live. Amy Poehler Quotes |
| You tell somebody you're an improviser and they think you're doing Random Acts of Comedy and it's just like, a bastardization of what I think is the purest form of art. People still don't get it, they still don't understand that...well, number one, it's hard to prove to people that you're improvising when you're on TV. They don't believe it. Amy Poehler Quotes |
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| Every week we had a different story and setting. Some were costume and period; some were modern. Some were comedy; some were tragedy. Some were melodrama. They were all different. Douglas Fairbanks Quotes |
| Maybe it is the war or the movies or because this generation was bred on radio comedy, but I found out that they want bombastic stuff with a lot of drive. They have little time for whimsy. It varies, of course, from town to town. The Hartford audience was sharper on some things than the Buffalo audience. Political jokes go, depending upon how the community votes. A Negro audience will pick up subtle comedy quicker than anyone else. Edgar Bergen Quotes |
| I loved the story, the comedy and how emotional it becomes. It was also an opportunity to do something different to what I had done before. Elijah Wood Quotes |
| I want to thank Comedy Central for picking up the show, but more importantly I want to congratulate Comedy Central for picking up the show, Stephen Colbert Quotes |
| Romantic comedy has really evolved since that time when there used to be a lot of social conventions and all sorts of reasons why people couldn't be together, Reese Witherspoon Quotes |
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| A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit, ... I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world. Jerry Lewis Quotes |
| I can't think of anyone who knew how to play comedy better than Ronnie Barker and I count myself enormously fortunate to have known and worked with him, Michael Palin Quotes |
| Socrates was killed… by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything… ‘When is a house a house?’ ‘Just chill-out will you?’ ‘If I’m out of the house am I chilling-out? Am I chilling-in if I’m in the house? Ugg, ahhh.’ [Sword stabbing & dying mime]. ‘What is a sword? Is it made of folded metal?' [Wobbly knees]. 'If I die on the floor can I get up in these heels?’ Eddie Izzard Quotes |
| I think (Mamet) seduces people in the first act into thinking that it's a comedy, in a sense, ... But then it turns around and becomes very dangerous. He's created a language here that appears to be natural but is much more heightened. It's realism in the best sense. Chris Noth Quotes |
| That's certainly what I grew up with-ballet and musical comedy. My mother taught ballroom dancing and, I think, would have liked to have been a dancer herself. So she pushed me a lot when I was very young, but I loved it. All I really wanted to be was a dancer. There's a discipline in dance that you don't get anywhere else. Donna Mills Quotes |
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| Everyone is going to love it. It's not just a kid movie. It has romance between Helen and Frank, comedy from the younger kids, a love triangle between the teenagers. It's very broad. Drake Bell Quotes |
| To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy. Elayne Boosler Quotes |
| At the base, it's about a man from America who doesn't quite fit in, with the comedy that entails. Everyone can relate to that, when things are lost in translation, Elijah Wood Quotes |
| Comedy is medicine. Trevor Griffiths Quotes |
| La commedia è finita. [The comedy is ended.] Ruggero Leoncavallo Quotes |
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| For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going. Jim Gaffigan Quotes |
| Who would ever have thought that I would win in the comedy or musical category? Not expected. Joaquin Phoenix Quotes |
| I feel people desperately want a laugh and what I offer them is optimistic comedy. Unlike some comics, I don't tell them what a rotten world it is. I say life is fabulous and wonderful and we should enjoy it while we can. Ken Dodd Quotes |
| Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people. Angela Carter Quotes |
| It's a very funny play. The music is just tremendous; it's a comedy with opera mixed in. Bryan Adams Quotes |
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| I am also an Emmy winning actress. Except that I gotta tell ya, it was for comedy and I've been practicing for most of my life because every job I've ever had they'd always say the same thing, 'Hey Lauper, what are ya, some kind of comedienne?' and who knew? Cyndi Lauper Quotes |
| I was interested in finding ways to do dark comedy that were actually dark and comic. Daniel Handler Quotes |
| I have observed, that in comedy, the best actor plays the part of the droll, while some scrub rogue is made the hero, or fine gentleman. So, in this farce of life, wise men pass their time in mirth, whilst fools only are serious. Samuel Johnson Quotes |
| Men and women do have different perspectives on comedy and I think we have different approaches to writing, ... [But] it doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman, if you are funny, you're funny. Gender doesn't come into it. Solon Quotes |
| I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy. Graham Norton Quotes |
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| When I left school I was full of angst, like any teenager, and I channeled it all into comedy. Matt Lucas Quotes |
| [Ball is one of the few musical comedy artists to have distinguished himself equally as an interpreter of both Andrew Lloyd Webber and Stephen Sondheim, who would seem to be polar opposites as songwriters.] I'm very lucky that I've gotten to work with both of them, ... I was in Andrew Lloyd Webber's 50th party concert at the Albert Hall. That same year I was in a special show called Hey, Mr. Producer , a celebration of Cameron Mackintosh's work. There was a Sondheim section, and Cameron asked if I'd be part of it. I'd already recorded 'Losing My Mind' from Follies , which is one of my favorite songs of Steve's. But I hadn't yet done a particularly traditional treatment of it. Steve said he wanted me to do it absolutely straight, the way it was heard in the original show, which I was delighted about. And he worked with me on it--just him, and me, and a pianist in a tiny room, for an hour-and-a-half master class on this song. I came away knowing every nuance; why he wrote everything that he did; why every note was in its place; why the phrasing was like this--can you imagine how thrilling that was? And he is so articulate in explaining his work; you can be under no illusion why something is there. When you have that understanding, that is when his work opens up to you. Of course, they put me between Judi Dench singing 'Send in the Clowns' and Bernadette Peters doing 'Being Alive.' You try holding your own in that company! Michael Ball Quotes |
| Why do we laugh at such terrible things? Because comedy is often the sarcastic realization of inescapable tragedy. Bryant H. McGill Quotes |
| All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. Will Ferrell Quotes |
| A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe it was too normal. Will Ferrell Quotes |
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| One book that I read called “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Helitzer made a great point. He said that most of being funny is the CHARACTER and not the jokes. David DeAngelo Quotes |
| It's fun to do a comedy and hook people in and then hoodwink them into watching a serious movie, ... I like to lead in with the comedy and then hit them over the head with a drama. Reese Witherspoon Quotes |
| I suppose I grew up wishing I was an American Jew for the comedy and the one-liners. ... actress who does a Holocaust movie because, as she explains, it's a surefire way to finally win an Oscar. Ricky Gervais Quotes |
| Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got... This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick somethin' up.' Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| Why isn't my life like a situation comedy? Why don't I have a bunch of friends with nothing better to do but drop by and instigate wacky adventures? Why aren't my conversations peppered with spontaneous witticisms? Why don't my friends demonstrate heartfelt concern for my well being when I have problems? ...I gotta get my life some writers. Bill Watterson Quotes |
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| Does anyone here work in advertising or marketing? Well if you do, when you get home take a gun shoot yourself. No bullshit, I'm not joking just do it. I'm just sowing seeds, one day they may take root. Bill Hicks Quotes |
| It all bottomed out with the Renaissance Period. Ren-ais-sance. That’s Renaissance, FRENCH for ‘re-birth’. Re-nais-sance. And that’s why most of the Renaissance happened slap bang in the middle of Fr…Italy. Eddie Izzard Quotes |
| Fifteen years before I became a screen actor, I was in the theatre. A lot of my work was comedy, which I loved doing. It's harder. Ben Kingsley Quotes |
| The Colgate Comedy Hour. Woody Allen Quotes |
| Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. Mel Brooks Quotes |
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| A married philosopher belongs to comedy. Friedrich Nietzsche Quotes |
| The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. James Thurber Quotes |
| Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. Jean de la Bruyere Quotes |
| If I had to go out there and surf, that would be a problem. But you know, it's just comedy. Jon Stewart Quotes |
| If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to ... You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. Jon Stewart Quotes |
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| Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy, Monty Python Quotes |
| Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -- to make people laugh. W. C. Fields Quotes |
| A pitfall of making a comedy with a studio-and it's also an American cultural thing-is that I get tired of being encouraged to go always for laughs. Alexander Payne Quotes |
| Comedy is so hard to do, so it was very cool to do dead pan humor. Brittany Daniel Quotes |
| Comedies are something I'd be very interesting in doing. David Naughton Quotes |
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| Comedy naturally wears itself out -- destroys the very food on which it lives; and by constantly and successfully exposing the follies and weaknesses of mankind to ridicule, in the end leaves itself nothing worth laughing at. William Hazlitt Quotes |
| I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl [Reiner]. Dick Van Dyke Quotes |
| To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy, ... So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best. Eric Idle Quotes |
| The only weapon we have is comedy. Robin Williams Quotes |
| You know, comedy's hard. With drama, you have a responsibility to the emotional truth, but with comedy, you have emotional truth and you have technique on top of it. Julianne Moore Quotes |
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| A farce or comedy is best played; a tragedy is best read at home. Abraham Lincoln Quotes |
| Richard Pryor was the Rosa Parks of comedy. He took risks and chances that made it possible for a whole generation of comics to exist. No one ever rocked the mike like Richard Pryor. Chris Rock Quotes |
| I watch a lot of news shows and I love Nick at Night, and the Comedy Channel. Bea Arthur Quotes |
| You never heard of a comedy team that didn't fight, did you? Bud Abbott Quotes |
| Between us and the writers, it was comedy hour the whole time. We could hardly get through it. Buddy Rice Quotes |
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| The way to judge a good comedy is by how long it will last and have people talk about it. Now Congress had turned out some that have lived for years and people are still laughing about them. Will Rogers Quotes |
| If it's approached as just a fun read, it's like romantic comedy with a marriage plot. If it's read more profoundly, there's delicious irony ... and incredible insight into human foibles. ... I hope this is a chance for all kinds of people to discover this real gem. William Phillips Quotes |
| This is nice counter-programming for T3, but with comedy sequels, you never know what you're going to get. If 'Legally Blonde' doesn't come up big, they're hurting for this year. David Mumpower Quotes |
| Jon's his own guy, but it's a gig that says a lot about who you are in the comedy community. Stephen Colbert Quotes |
| It's a musical comedy mixed with a little bit of seriousness. It's just fun for everybody. Stephen Eliasson Quotes |
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| He's a master of the new school of musicals, moving from traditional musical comedy to a more realistic musical. It has hysterical moments as well as wonderful, heartbreaking moments. There's not necessarily a bad guy — these are just two people who fell in love too quickly and moved too fast, only to find their lives have taken different turns. Stephen Gee Quotes |
| The anger that fuels comedy has built up. We fully expect Katrina to become part of the comic lexicon of the show. Stephen Hill Quotes |
| Usually, funny people aren't in charge of comedy. Comedy has become commerce. They're just trying to duplicate a thing that they can sell. That's the business. I'm not mad at that. You know, cookie companies do the same thing. But all the cookies aren't good cookies. Mrs. Fields is better than a lot of them. Ali LeRoi Quotes |
| Wanda is a tremendous talent. Image has firmly established itself as a leading producer and distributor of comedy content, and we are thrilled to be able to add Wanda Sykes to our comedy family. Barry Gordon Quotes |
| People are born with comedy timing, it's very hard to learn and he was just naturally gifted in that regard, Barbara Feldon Quotes |
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| Maybe we will, and we'll take the entire comedy industry with us. Dave Foley Quotes |
| So much of good comedy is timing and being able to hear the music of a line and the rhythm of a joke. I think that's why a lot of the best comedians have some sort of musical instincts. That's one reason why Kelsey and I work so well together. He's also a musician. David Hyde Pierce Quotes |
| 'Blue Collar Comedy' is our only program with growing ratings and it taps into an underserved market. Rather than keep hammering away at the small teen girl market, we decided to re-orient the network around this audience of people I fly over on the way to meetings. David Janollari Quotes |
| He was the beginning of a new dawn of comedy. It wasn't cute and sweet. It was a little scary. Whoopi Goldberg Quotes |
| I'm delighted that we have been able to assemble such a stellar cast of British comedy acting talent. Graham Smith Quotes |
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| By expressing his heart, anger and joy, Richard Pryor took comedy to its highest form. Steve Martin Quotes |
| It's free, and we worked really hard. If you enjoy sketch comedy, you'll like it. It's something to do before you get drunk on St. Patrick's. Steve Menegozzi Quotes |
| The Merchant City has some great venues for comedy. We want to show a bit of everything that happens in Glasgow's comedy community. Alan Anderson Quotes |
| If you listen to his comedy ... it's serious stuff. There's war, there's racism, there's fights, there's violence, there's arguments. And then you find the joke in it. Ali LeRoi Quotes |
| Bill Maher is one of today's most insightful comedic minds who has, through his comedy, influenced political debate in this country. This performance is Maher at his best, and will appeal to both die-hard and new Bill Maher fans alike. Barry Gordon Quotes |
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| There's a lot of comedy in this as well. Bruce Sevy Quotes |
| Often times, finding a serious idea that can be The Foundation of a romantic comedy can be the difference between something that flies off like so many spinning plates or something that has some emotional weight underneath it. It also leads to the kind of actor that you can get for that role. What is often the case in a standard romantic comedy is that it's all about the-girl-and-the-boy-is-kind-of-fun vibe, but with this, you could go for an actor of real depth. Walter Parkes Quotes |
| There is a double standard out there. Comedy is a male business; it's not ladylike what we're doing. But at the end of the day, if it's funny, it's funny, and funny tends to quiet the criticisms. Wanda Sykes Quotes |
| It's less lonely. Sketch comedy is much more fun than stand-up. You can still have a good time when you're bombing in sketch comedy because at least you're bombing with other people. Dave Foley Quotes |
| She incorporates comedy and funny songs - it's not the kind of thing you'd typically see at a folk concert, but it's really unique and fun. Scott Cullen Quotes |
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| I think the thing that has to be clear is these guys can sing. The comedy is great; the harmony, fantastic. People here, they think drag guys can't sing. Glenn Casale Quotes |
| Especially with a comedy, you've got the clear cut goal of trying to make a scene funny. It's not like drama where you're trying to achieve some kind of emotion or trying to further the story along. You're trying to figure out what's the funniest way to do something. Luke Wilson Quotes |
| Obviously the player can enjoy pure action by beating up the bad guys but at the same time, comedy scenes are included as well where you can laugh while playing. This is a game where you have to beat the bad guys only with your bare hands, there are no swords or guns. The main character, Jean, is not a conventional hero who fights to 'save the world', but fights the bad guys because he doesn't like them. Atsushi Inaba Quotes |
| The film, as crazy as it is, is a love Letter to comedians and comedy and all the different ways they improv around something, Bob Saget Quotes |
| Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got 'Full House,' it was, like, wow, he's playing this all-American dad kind of thing. That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in 'Full House.' Bob Saget Quotes |
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| It was a comedy of mistakes to start the third quarter. We didn't play very well and a team like Mandan takes advantage of everything. Bruce Anderson Quotes |
| It's basically a violent love triangle. It's a fusion of action, comedy, drama and suspense. Zachary Yoshioka Quotes |
| [Some playwrights are obvious influences on younger writers. Arthur Miller (realistic, politically engaged dramas) and Christopher Durang (satirical dark comedies) are examples.] But August stands apart, ... He has his special way of seeing things. I remember he and I were at one of those fancy benefits the Rep has. The gay men's chorus was singing, and I was very proud to have brought them into a Rep event. And August says, 'You know, I don't see any black people up there.' That was his focus: the lives of black people. Daniel Sullivan Quotes |
| I call it Bosnian minimalism. I was somehow thinking of the Roman comedies where it all happens in the square. Danis Tanovic Quotes |
| [After the brothers split up as a writing team in 1954, Danny Simon became head writer on] The Colgate Comedy Hour ... Make Room for Daddy. Danny Simon Quotes |
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| All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us. Yahoo Serious Quotes |
| It's not the Olympics that are the problem, it's these big, horrible, formula, factory American comedies that are out there bashing our tiny, little film industry and when you're trying to celebrate the Australian culture you've got all this trash coming in there. Yahoo Serious Quotes |
| It's a romantic comedy, and it's really, really fun. The play actually just uses just a little bit of the material From the movie and kind of makes its own thing. Alex Ellis Quotes |
| I'm finishing a book about the making of the movie and I have a comedy I'm dying to do that would be perfect for Jim Carey, ... And I'm getting a cut of the film ready for The Lifetime Channel, for showing next March. Angela Shelton Quotes |
| That meant I could go home at night, ... Doing stand-up comedy, you're on the road an awful lot. Bob Newhart Quotes |
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| We're just asking people to kind of look at how they're getting their comedy a little bit differently. Since it's not joke-driven in a traditional sense, the jokes are coming out of how we ratchet up the size of the elephant in the room. If you're invested in the characters and you're onboard with them on an emotional level, that laugh will come out of a relatable place. Fred Goss Quotes |
| The show is able to combine outrageous physical comedy with the heart and humanity that characterizes all really wonderful sitcoms that have been successful. Gary Marsh Quotes |
| Lucille didn't care about messing herself up. A lot of stars of her stature wouldn't do physical comedy because they were afraid they'd get their hair messed up or they'd look bad. I remember once she fell into a vat of green dye. She came out with not only her hair green but everything was green! Gale Gordon Quotes |
| It's been a struggle to find that next evolution of comedy. Earl was our highest-testing show in 15 years, which was kind of a surprise. But we definitely need cutting-edge comedies like that. Kevin Reilly Quotes |
| This project is a noisy, compelling combination of bold drama and laugh-out-loud comedy, Kevin Reilly Quotes |
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| For the first year, Network Live will primarily be performance based with a lot of comedy and music. Kevin Wall Quotes |
| Martin was the catalyst ... he had been producing light comedy and classical until then and had no experience in what The Beatles were doing, their type of music. I think it ended up a good thing. ... Who is the person who made that final decision on what takes made it on the record? In large part, George Martin. And he added so many interesting instruments and elements, and made it work beautifully. ... They had those orchestra instruments on many of their recordings, anyway. Mark Maxson Quotes |
| For comedy to be good, it has to be played straight. And again, the greatest example of this is Lucy Ball. No matter how wild the shows were that we did, no matter how bizarre the situations were, they were never played as if they were funny. They were played like serious incidents of ordinary everyday life. And that's why they are terribly funny and are still considered classic comedies. Gale Gordon Quotes |
| I didn't think some of the comedy was current enough to be funny today, Garry Marshall Quotes |
| It's tough, it's an interesting little play -- part comedy, part serious. Basically, it's a story about the trusting friendship between women, but you lose a lot of that in the film. It's more clear throughout the play. Gene Anthony Quotes |
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| Steve Martin exploded through 'Saturday Night Live,' ... What you have now is Comedy Central, a ready vehicle that's helping the country-hick humor on one hand and giving a guy like Dane Cook a platform on the other. Geoff Mayfield Quotes |
| It's like this all the time. When we play, it's a comedy act with music. Scott Crawford Quotes |
| A Christine Lavin show combines music, comedy, knitting, twirling, a little science and education, some audience participation, and a whole lot of fun. She often holds knitting circles in her dressing room before the show, and the audience is always invited - that's what really inspired this fundraiser. Scott Cullen Quotes |
| We know we aren't like Comedy Central or ESPN that serves to entertain. You may never use any part of C-SPAN, but we as a network with all our resources, like to think we are here if you ever do need to use us. Scott Peterson Quotes |
| I think we will probably be a comedy. Marta Kauffman Quotes |
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| A lot of comedians out there are aspiring actors, but Dave Attell is a comedian who loves doing comedy and loves to tour. It's great seeing people who love what they do. Laura Garrison Quotes |
| Saturdays on Radio 2 will be real appointment listening with Jonathan Ross in the morning, comedy for lunch followed by Chris's new show in the afternoon - and then Dermot with a new exciting music show, Lesley Douglas Quotes |
| We wanted to try to see if we could take something as traditionally structured as a half-hour TV comedy format and actually bring improvisation to it. Fred Goss Quotes |
| is a comedy, not a Lifetime movie. Scott Seomin Quotes |
| I thought I would be a serious actor. But I soon realized that doing comedy gave me what I needed out of acting. I got hooked on both the sound of laughter and that kind of flirtatious rapport with the audience. Drama just doesn't have that type of Punch for me. Shenoah Allen Quotes |
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| The volume of comedy stuff is exploding. It's a very social genre for sharing a laugh. Gregg Spiridellis Quotes |
| I was hoping that the appeal of the show would stretch beyond the anglophile and comedy-obsessed. Matt Lucas Quotes |
| It's called 'Easier, Softer Way,' ... It's a comedy starring Danny Masterson, Ronnie Warner, John C. McGinley. I have a small part in it. Mekhi Phifer Quotes |
| [It was with] Your Show of Shows ... Everything I learned about comedy, I learned from Danny Simon. Mel Brooks Quotes |
| We were the only ones interested in comedy. Everybody else wanted to be Martin Scorsese. Matt Stone Quotes |
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| She had the brashness of her comedy, but in her personal life there was such a sweetness. Sweetness, that's what I remember about her, Merv Griffin Quotes |
| There's a Baxter in every single romantic comedy, Michael Showalter Quotes |
| [The star of the hit television comedy] Friends ... Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Brad Pitt Quotes |
| I never wanted to be pigeonholed as one style of comedy. I want to be the kind of person you have a random back-and-forth with at a party. So that if you go to my show I could take irreverent, I could take subtle, I could take slapstick - pretty much anything I could think of that would be entertaining - and my audience would be with me. Dane Cook Quotes |
| We wanted a half-hour comedy that was not joke-driven in the traditional sense. You're laughing because you recognize the characters as people you're possibly related to yourself. Fred Goss Quotes |
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| Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty. Steve Martin Quotes |
| Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth. Stephen Baldwin Quotes |
| This is one of the easier comedies to understand. Lynne Burroughs Quotes |
| I can't think of anyone who knew how to play comedy better. Michael Grade Quotes |
| It's a comedy. It's a guy falling off a stool, and everybody thinks a guy falling off a stool is funny. Michael Mabbott Quotes |
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| Sometimes I make some money doin' comedy. I made $3000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash, so I had $3000 in my front pocket. That was a bad situation, because then I start to buy ridulous sh**. Like, I bought a snake-bite emergency repair kit. Then I said to my friends, 'Don't even worry about snakes anymore.' Then my friend stepped on a worm, I said, 'Lay down.' Snake bite emergency repair kit... is a body bag. Mitch Hedberg Quotes |
| [The fact that several of Tuesday's shows represent different genres could help.] There's a real balance, ... We're the only comedy. CBS has the only reality show. And there are a couple of dramas going after an audience. Mitch Metcalf Quotes |
| It was so wild and free, and it looked like so much fun to do that kind of comedy. So I guess that movie was really my introduction to the performing arts, and now I'm an actor, writer and producer. Frank Ferrante Quotes |
| Monster-in-Law is billed as a romantic comedy, but it's actually a mystery: Why did Jane Fonda, one of the finest actors of her generation, choose this undernourished script as her comeback project after 15 years away from the screen?. But unless Fonda buys all the copies and burns them, this is a sad curtain call and places a question mark, instead of an exclamation point, on a successful career. Steve Persall Quotes |
| If you can walk away from a comedy thinking it was funny yet also feeling good about the people you watched and the journey they went on, then all the better. Greg Garcia Quotes |
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| It's easier to play a dim character, for me, because I have a natural bent for comedy. It's not intrinsic for me to be crafty, so I would have to go outside for a source of origin. I think of myself as pretty dim. Stephen Root Quotes |
| In those days, there was one secret to making good comedy. If it made the audience laugh, it was a good comedy. Hal Roach Quotes |
| The audience comes away with experiencing everything from comedy to tears as these scenes deliver the story of two very different people who learn they also have a lot in common. Harold Gould Quotes |
| This movie is so drastically wrong, its pathos and its comedy are so wildly misplaced, that you could not, in your fantasy of what it might be like, improve on what it really is. 'Oh My God!'-- that's all you can say. Harry Shearer Quotes |
| I realize I'm going against the grain, doing a fully produced CD of comedy sketches and music at a time when the only comedy recordings are basically standup. But it's the kind of comedy records I grew up on and ... (have) always been kind of my favorite. Harry Shearer Quotes |
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| The comedy shows have gotten into political satire, and it's been an increasingly important way that some segments of the world get their news. For that reason, the political satire shows look hard for material that comes from the news. Sometimes they don't have to look very hard, like today. Andrew Kohut Quotes |
| I just thought here is comedy, here is tragedy. That is the way life is. I just tried to do it true to life. Billy Wilder Quotes |
| There was a lot of sexual comedy in there we couldn't do because of where we are. Dana Brown Quotes |
| In single-camera comedy, a lot of it is point of view, ... understand what's going on in a person's head. Dana Walden Quotes |
| It's the end of an era for a kind of comedy, a convention of comedy that seems to have moved on to an alternative form of comedy, and I would be much more of his generation. Frank Kelly Quotes |
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| It's a comedy so there are a lot of fun antics. But there's a lot of heart to the story. Frank McClain Quotes |
| I kind of look at death metal like movies. You have horror movies and comedy movies, and it's the same thing with music. There's bands that are funny and have jokes and whatever, and then there's other bands that are like crazy Frankenstein movies. That's something that I've been into since I was a kid. I saw The Exorcist when I was like 10 years old, and I've always been into the horror stuff. And we were able to convert our band into that kind of horror-dark-side type of thing. Frank Watkins Quotes |
| It's really a comedy about all these people who are looking for the loves of their lives, and struggling to find happiness during this pursuit, Steve Carell Quotes |
| I thought the university came through very well, ... I think the comedy is a joke on Tommy and not a joke on the university. Harvey Perlman Quotes |
| We haven't done a comedy show in Rose since Dane Cook last year in the spring. Heather Hillman Quotes |
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| Like all Shakespearean comedy, Much Ado deals with love and marriage. But it's also about misunderstanding, misinterpretation and disguise. The entire play is about the ways we mask our identity and hide our true feelings, literally and figuratively. Henry I. Schvey Quotes |
| I don't want to be in comedy soaps for a while, I need to do something fresh and new. Natalia Oreiro Quotes |
| This is simply quite stupid ... The American electoral system needs modernizing. An American comedy! Boris Nemtsov Quotes |
| I enjoyed both equally, but in different ways, ... Maynard gave me the chance to do wonderful word comedy...When I was offered Gilligan, I chose it because that character gave me the chance to do physical comedy, which I love. Bob Denver Quotes |
| We actually had to split the narrative category in two (drama and comedy) we had so many. Craig Coleman Quotes |
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| I let the comedy come through the character and just try to make sure that everything is kind of rounded in a truth, in a reality, because that's what I need to make a character work. Eugene Levy Quotes |
| We want these comedy situations to be grounded in a truth, Eugene Levy Quotes |
| [In a mild surprise, Tony Shalhoub was honored as best actor in a musical or comedy TV series for his title role in] Monk. ... God bless the planet earth. Tony Shalhoub Quotes |
| Obviously we are all sad today about Chris. Chris was really excited to be doing a comedy. He was such a great character actor ... and he gave an incredible performance that's going to make a lot of people laugh for years to come. Finn Taylor Quotes |
| [Best-comedy-actress winner Felicity Huffman ( Desperate Housewives ) was still in shock over her win — as well as the nasty tumble her fellow housewife Marcia Cross took backstage after the cast presented an award.] She fell flat on her face, ... if Marcia wins and she just broke her face, her fiancé was going to have to accept the award. Felicity Huffman Quotes |
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| I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic. Topher Grace Quotes |
| When you're trying to find that line between are you doing comedy, are you doing drama, what are you doing, Martin, for me, anchors it very often, because he approaches it from such just a pure acting standpoint. Orlando Jones Quotes |
| For me, it really first has to be a good story and be funny. If you're doing sincere comedy, the edgy stuff kind of happens on its own. Aaron McGruder Quotes |
| [Eclecticism is the byword for this year's festival.] The Merchant City has some great venues for comedy, ... We want to show a bit of everything that happens in Glasgow's comedy community. Alan Anderson Quotes |
| I'm actually gonna do an album soon, yeah, ... It's gonna be comedy, the lyrics are all gonna be really wacky and comedic, but we're gonna get real hip-hop producers and try to make it sound like a real hip-hop CD. Andy Milonakis Quotes |
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| [Murray has made more than 40 movies and there's still no big prize in sight. Comedy, however well done, is at the bottom of the barrel when it comes to awards. He knows it. So do Steve Martin, Jim Carrey and Mike Myers.] Even Charlie Chaplin knew it, ... Laughter and the lighter moments of life always seem easy to deliver. I don't expect those giving out the awards to understand. Bill Murray Quotes |
| I'm not a huge fan of romantic comedies- my taste goes much more to the offbeat and dark. I'd love to sink my teeth into something like 'Fargo' Courteney Cox Quotes |
| I'm not a huge fan of romantic comedies- my taste goes much more to the offbeat and dark. I'd love to sink my teeth into something like 'Fargo'. Courtney Cox Quotes |
| Nobody should try to play comedy unless they have a circus going on inside. Ernst Lubitsch Quotes |
| I was going to radio school. I took a comedy workshop to be funny on the radio. It was stand up comedy, and I just got hooked on it. I just did open mikes, and I was off and running. Tony Moschetto Quotes |
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| I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work, Eugene Levy Quotes |
| It's a comedy that is touching at times. It's poignant with the characters riding an emotional merry-go-round. But it also isn't that different from what we've done in the past. It's very similar to most of Neil Simon's work and we've done just about all of his plays. While there is some innuendo, it is at its heart something that our audience will really enjoy with their families. Josh Kaspar Quotes |
| are the intellectual property of Comedy Central. Craig Kilborn Quotes |
| My latest comedy, Bellwether, let me go after everything that bugs me: meetings, Barbie, trendy coffeehouses, those incompetent clerks who refuse to get off the phone to talk to you, and bread pudding. Connie Willis Quotes |
| We're all over 60. I'm sorry to say this, but comedy is really a young man's game. It's sort of about what you had to say when you were fresh and young. And I'm perfectly happy to get drunk with the rest of them. Eric Idle Quotes |
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| I think he's the most intelligent man I've ever met. Honesty, simplicity and truth are the secret to his comedy. Eric Idle Quotes |
| People know me. I'm not going to produce any cartwheels out there. I'm not going to belong on Comedy Central. I'll always be a tennis player, not a celebrity. Pete Sampras Quotes |
| It's kind of got everything - good comedy, good drama, good romance - and I can see why Julia Roberts would be attracted to it. Everybody gets to play two parts. You get to play the adult children in Act I and the parents in Act 2 (when the clock is set back 35 years). John Hudson Quotes |
| We really like the cast and were blown away by the consistency of the show in terms of comedy and Rob's ability to run it, ... We really believe in him and his compatriots. John Landgraf Quotes |
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