| "Go to bed in your fireplace, you'll sleep like a log." Ellen DeGeneres Remarks |
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| "Hello?..Oh, hi Tom. Ooh, I've been dying to see that movie...Mmm no, I just opened up some yogurt. I am in for the night....Not even later, it's the kind with the fruit on the bottom. Thanks anyway. Have fun." "Oh...Sorry I'm late...Traffic. Hm. Really? How you think I got here? Hellacoptered in?" Ellen DeGeneres |
| "I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: "Ohhh my God, you're thin." Ellen DeGeneres |
| "I feel Like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises." Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
| "I feel sorry for the newscasters you know? We can turn it off. But that's their job and they have to read these stories and they're just coming up on the teleprompter they don't know what's coming up. and they have to go through these change of emotions. That.. "There were no survivors...And next Which candybar helps ya lose weight! Still to come! Is an asteroid headed towards earth...But first where to find the cheesiest pizza in town! Also, a disturbing study finds that studies are disturbing... " Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
| "I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person." Ellen DeGeneres Quotations |
| "I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah." Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| "I'm feeling so good. I feel like a million bucks. I'm focused, I'm alert, I'm zippy and top of my game.. I've never felt better! I'm sharp as a tack right now. And what's weird is that I didn't get a good nights sleep last night. And they say that's the most important thing..Or is it breakfast they said?..That's the most important meal of the day, breakfast...yes. And then it's 'i' before 'e' I know that..Um.. diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dog is a man's best friend.. What was I talking about?..Oh that's right, that I feel great and I'm at the top of my game. And it's odd because I didn't get hardly any sleep last night. And, they say that's the most important thing." Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
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| "So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking? "Ohh they'll be fine" Ellen DeGeneres |
| And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so bad, but it's only bad on your side. The person talking to you has no clue...They're just rambling on and on. You've got your finger jammed in your ear, you're shushing people on the streets. You're ducked behind a dumpster so you can hear about your friend's new hair cut. 'What about the bangs are they shorter?!?...Are the bangs shorter?!?...THE BAAANGS!!! Ellen DeGeneres Sayings |
| But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life ? winning an Oscar. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Come on, if you don't win tonight it doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you're not a good actor. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write "over" on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: "And so Kathy and I went shopping and we..." That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way. Ellen DeGeneres Sayings |
| Friends will write me letters. They run out of room on the front of the letter. They write 'over' on the bottom of the letter. Like I'm that much of a moron. Like I need that there. Because if it wasn't there, I'd get to the bottom of the page: 'And so Kathy and I went shopping and we--' That's the craziest thing! I don't know why she would just end it that way. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Hosting the Emmys is a challenge for me. I guess it's the equivalent of someone who needs to climb a mountain or jump out of a plane. It's that kind of thing, where this could go terribly wrong. And I love the feeling of when it goes right. Ellen DeGeneres |
| I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
| I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves. Ellen DeGeneres |
| I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. "Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox2." Ellen DeGeneres |
| I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2.' Ellen DeGeneres Remarks |
| I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that. Ellen DeGeneres |
| I'm really, really honored because it's times like these that we really need to laugh, ... And look for me next month when I host the North Korean People's Choice Awards. Ellen DeGeneres |
| In the beginning there was nothing. God said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Ellen DeGeneres |
| In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Just go up to somebody on the street and say "You're it!" and just run away. Ellen DeGeneres Quotations |
| My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?...Noooo...as funny as that is, I'm not Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-five now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres Quotes |
| My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-three today and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| New Orleans is my home town, and it's gone, Ellen DeGeneres Sayings |
| Oh she tripped?....Nooo, she's running. I thought she tripped but she's running. She stopped running, she did trip. You tripped!!! Ellen DeGeneres Popular Quotes |
| Our egos tells us we're the only ones that have any kind of feelings. We're the only ones with a relationship. We're the only ones with family. You know, I think that if you kill a spider, there is a relationship that you're ruining. There's a conversation going on outside with the other spiders. 'Did you hear about Chris?....Killed yeah....Sneaker. And now Stephanie has nine hundred babies to raise all alone. Well, she's got her legs full I'll tell you that right now. Chris was so kind, wouldn't hurt a fly. It's just been tough for them lately. They just lost their web last week. Those humans think they're so smart. Let them try shooting silk out of their butt and see what they can make.' Ellen DeGeneres |
| People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. Ellen DeGeneres |
| somebody who was glorious in their ability to be who they were and to tell the world. ... It, to me, was my dream come true. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. Ellen DeGeneres |
| Yeah [I'm thirty-six], but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow. Ellen DeGeneres Adages |
| [• Ellen DeGeneres , who was praised for her graceful performance as host of the Emmy Awards that followed the Sept. 11 attacks, will be back this year (8 p.m. Sept. 18, Channels 12, 7).] You know me, ... Any excuse to put on a dress. Ellen DeGeneres |
